Jack Babb

Miserly Ebenezer Scrooge falls asleep in his dingy quarters on Christmas Eve and is visited by three ghosts- each revealing to him the mistakes of his life and what will happen if he continues on his heartless path.  This timeless story never fails to remind us of the power of redemption and-- like the glee that overtakes Scrooge in the play's final joyous moments-- overwhelms us with warm sentiments of the holiday season.

The origingal production of this stage adaptation of A Christmas Carol took place at The International Theatre in Vienna, Austria.  For a review of this production click here

A Christmas Carol

By Charles Dickens

(Adapted for the stage by Jack Babb)

Excerpts from this script are made available here for perusal purposes only. To have a free copy of the full script emailed to you and for questions concerning performance rights please contact me at scripts@jackbabb.com

This script is specially designed to work in smaller spaces and for theatre companies with lower budgets. It can also work in large spaces with elaborate sets. The cast size can range from 13 to 30 - or more. The set can be as simple as a bare stage with 2 desks, 2 stools, a bed, and a table with chairs. It can also be as complex as your space allows (with trap doors, revolves, flying ghosts, or any other bells and whistles you have at your command.) I have left in many of the original stage directions- all of which can be ignored. The light, music and sound cues can be ignored as well. This script contains elements of the traditional British holiday pantomime, or panto- audience participation, characters that are at times aware that they are in a play, etc. However, it is not meant to be performed as a pantomime. The goal is to find a balance between the silliness and the fun of the pantomime, with the serious human story of a man who wakes up one morning and decides that he can, indeed, change his life and the lives of those around him.

ACT I

SCENE 1

(At start: Stage is set for Scrooge's office. No Curtain. At about 15-20 minutes before curtain time some carolers wader into the lobby and begin singing traditional Christmas carols. At some point Scrooge enters the lobby and chases them off. He looks at the audience members in the lobby and says What are you doing in here. The show is in there- indicating the auditorium. He then mutters humbug and leaves. A while later- when most of the audience is seated- the carolers appear on stage and sing more songs. Perhaps they are joined by the rest of the cast for the last song. Scrooge enters from the back of the house, making his way to his office and muttering to audience members about how awful the singing is. Finally, he can take the Christmas cheer no longer.)

SCROOGE Stop it. Stop that caterwauling this instant. Stop singing (The singing has died down) Clear the way. Get out of my way. Leave! (The actors start to disperse) Not you, Cratchit- you get to work. (Cratchit sits at his desk and starts working. The others have all left except the narrator, who stands off to the side.) Carol Singers. Humbug

NARRATOR Once upon a time, (The house-lights begin to slowly dim. OPTIONAL: We hear the faint sounds of the carolers singing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen offstage or outside the office.) of all the good days in the year on Christmas Eve, old Scrooge sat busy in his counting house. It was cold, bleak, biting weather.

SCROOGE I like it.

NARRATOR Yes you would, wouldnt you. External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he. No falling snow was more intent upon its purpose. No pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't know where to have him. The place was arranged so that Scrooge might keep his eye upon his clerk, who in a dismal little corner was copying letters. Scrooge had a very small fire. But the clerk's fire was so very much smaller that it looked like one coal.

CRATCHIT (To the narrator) Yes, it is rather cold, isn't it. Do you think I could have some more coal?

NARRATOR Why don't you ask him?

CRATCHIT Excellent idea. Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, sir, I don't mean to bother you...

SCROOGE Now is not a good time, Mr. Cratchit.

CRATCHIT Yes sir. Its justits rather cold today, sir.

SCROOGE Then we should bundle up, shouldnt we Mr. Cratchit.

CRATCHIT Yes sir. (pause) I was wondering if we shouldnt put just a little more coal on the fire.

SCROOGE Coal costs money, Mr. Cratchit.

CRATCHIT Yes sir.

SCROOGE My money.

CRATCHIT Yes sir.

SCROOGE Am I in the habit of spending my money on frivolities?

CRATCHIT Yes, sir. I mean, no sir. No. Ill just bundle up, shall I sir.

SCROOGE Excellent idea, Mr. Cratchit.

NARRATOR And so the clerk put on his comforter and tried to warm himself at his candle. In which effort, not being a man of a strong imagination...

CRATCHIT Ouch!!!!

NARRATOR He failed. Oh, but he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner. Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire. Secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks: My dear Scrooge, how are you? When will you come to see me?

SCROOGE Never!

NARRATOR No children asked him what time it was o'clock.

SCROOGE (Looking at an audience member) Children!

NARRATOR Even the blind mens dogs appeared to know him and when they saw him coming on, would tug their owners into doorways and up courts. But what did Scrooge care? It was the very thing he liked. To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance.

FRED A Merry Christmas, Uncle! God save you!

NARRATOR It was the voice of Scrooge's Nephew, Fred, who came upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation the old boy had of his approach.

SCROOGE Merry Christmas? Christmas is a humbug!

FRED Christmas a humbug, Uncle! You don't mean that, I am sure?

SCROOGE I do. Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.

FRED Come then, what right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough.

SCROOGE Bah! Humbug!

FRED Don't be cross, Uncle.

SCROOGE What else can I be, when I live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! Out upon Merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money. A time for finding yourself a year older, and not an hour richer. If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

FRED Uncle!

SCROOGE Nephew! Keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.

FRED Keep it, but you don't keep it.

SCROOGE Let me leave it alone then, much good it may do you! Much good it has ever done you! (OPTIONAL: We hear the faint sounds of carolers singing Be Gone Dull Care outside the office or offstage.)

FRED There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say. Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come around, as a good time. A kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. The only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good, and I say, God bless it! (Cratchit applauds.)

SCROOGE (To Cratchit) Let me hear another sound from you and you'll keep your Christmas by losing your situation. (To Fred) You're quite a powerful speaker, sir, I wonder you don't go into Parliament.

FRED Don't be angry, Uncle. Come! Dine with us to-morrow.

SCROOGE I would sooner dine with the devil.

FRED Uncle, why wont you join us. It would be a chance for you to meet my wife.

SCROOGE Yes, your wife. Tell me nephew, why did you get married?

FRED Because I fell in love.

SCROOGE (mimicking him) Because I fell in love. Good afternoon!

FRED Nay Uncle, but you never came to see me before that happened. Why give it as a reason for not coming now?

SCROOGE Good afternoon.

FRED I want nothing from you. I ask nothing of you. Why cannot we be friends?

SCROOGE Good afternoon!

FRED I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute. We have never had any quarrel to which I have been a party. But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas humor to the last. So a Merry Christmas , Uncle! (Scrooge does not reply. Pause. The only sound we hear is Scrooge counting his money as he ignores Fred and continues to work . OPTIONAL: Also the sound of the carolers singing Be Gone Dull Care outside the office or offstage.) And a Happy New Year! Merry Christmas, Mr. Cratchit.

CRATCHIT Merry Christmas, Mr. Fred. (Fred exits)

SCROOGE There's another fellow, my clerk, with fifteen shillings a week and a wife and family talking of a Merry Christmas! I'll retire to bedlam!

NARRATOR Now, one point must be understood. Marley was dead to begin with. There can be no doubt whatever about that. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail. Mind! I don't mean to say that I know of my own knowledge what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. Nevertheless you will please permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail. Scrooge knew he was dead. Of course he did. How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don't know how many years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole friend, and sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event.

SCROOGE In fact, I struck a very good bargain on the cost of the funeral.

NARRATOR I have no doubt. Now, the mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to the point I started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead.

SCROOGE Yes, I think we got that bit.

NARRATOR This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of this story.

SCROOGE Humbug.

NARRATOR Scrooge never painted out old Marley's name. There it stood, years afterwards, above the warehouse door: Scrooge and Marley. The firm was known as Scrooge and Marley. Sometimes people new to the business called Scrooge, "Scrooge", and sometimes "Marley". But he answered to both names. It was all the same to him.

GENTLEMAN Scrooge and Marleys, I believe. Have we the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?

SCROOGE Addressing Mr. Marley would be no pleasure. He has been dead for seven years. He died seven years ago this very night.

LADY On Christmas Eve, what a pity!

SCROOGE Its as good a day as any other to die.

LADY We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner.

SCROOGE Oh! Indeed. It is. (OPTIONAL: We hear the faint sounds of carolers singing Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel outside the office or offstage)

GENTLEMAN At this festive season of the year, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries, hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts.

SCROOGE Are there no prisons?

LADY Plenty of prisons.

SCROOGE And the workhouses, they are still in operation?

LADY They are. Still I wish I could say they were not.

SCROOGE The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigor, then?

LADY Both very busy, sir.

SCROOGE Oh! I was afraid by what you said at first that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course. I am very glad to hear it.

GENTLEMAN However, these establishments scarcely provide cheer to either mind or body and so a few of us are endeavoring to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time because it is a time, of all others, when want is keenly felt and abundance rejoices. What shall we put you down for, Mr. Scrooge?

SCROOGE Nothing!

GENTLEMAN You wish to be anonymous?

SCROOGE I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas, and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned. They cost enough. Those who are badly off must go there.

LADY Many can't go there and many would rather die.

SCROOGE If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. It's not my business. It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon.

NARRATOR Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point, the two visitors withdrew. (They exit.) Scrooge resumed his labors with an improved opinion of himself and in a more facetious temper than was usual with him. (The carolers enter the office.)

A CAROLER Merry Christmas. A penny for a carol, sirs? (Unfolds a little banner that reads: PENNY FOR A CAROL and they start singing Deck the Halls.)

SCROOGE Go and deck someone else's hall.

A CAROLER Perhaps youd prefer The Twelve Days of Christmas

SCROOGE No!

A CAROLER Or the Ten days of Christmas?

SCROOGE Leave!

A CAROLER Seven days?

SCROOGE Good-bye!

A CAROLER Three?

SCROOGE (Advancing with his walking stick) Get out of my office! (Carolers exit)

Humbug!

A CAROLER (Entering) One day- and thats our final offer.

SCROOGE Go!

A CAROLER Right- Well just be on our way, then. (Exit)

SCROOGE Humbug!

NARRATOR (Sound- Bell starts first of six rings.) At length the hour of shutting up the counting-house arrived. With an ill-will Scrooge tacitly admitted the fact to the expectant clerk. (Scrooge checks his watch and grumbles in Cratchit's direction, indicating that he can go. Cratchit blows out his candle and timidly walks to Scrooge, plucking up the courage to ask for Christmas Day off.)

CRATCHIT Mr. Scrooge, sir. I know that this is probably not a good time, however

SCROOGE You'll want all day to-morrow, I suppose?

CRATCHIT If quite convenient, sir.

SCROOGE It's not convenient and it's not fair. If I was to dock you half-a-crown for it, you'd think yourself ill-used, I'll be bound? And yet, you don't think me ill-used when I pay a day's wages for no work.

CRATCHIT It's only once a year sir.

SCROOGE A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every Twenty-fifth of December. But I suppose you must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier the next morning to make up for it!

CRATCHIT I will sir. Thank you sir. And a very Merry Christmas. (Cratchit exits.)

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Act I

Scene 5

PAST Come, let us see another Christmas. (Lights- brighter. Music- a fiddle off stage playing Sir Roger De Coverley. Young Scrooge enters and sets the desk and then sits at the desk working. From off stage we hear the sounds of a party.)

PAST Do you know this place?

SCROOGE Know it? It's Fezziwig's, to be sure. I was apprenticed here. I learned my trade in this very room. (Fezziwig enters and watches Young Scrooge working.) Why thats Fezziwig.

FEZZIWIG Ho there lad. No more work tonight.

SCROOGE Bless his heart, its Fezziwig alive again.

FEZZIWIG Its Christmas, Ebenezer, Its Christmas. Come and join the party.

YOUNG SCROOGE Im just finishing.

FEZZIWIG Come and join the party. We have singing, dancing, Christmas cheer! One cup of my famous punch and you wont even be able to see those blasted numbers youre working on. Come and join the party!

YOUNG SCROOGE Really, Im almost finished. Just one more minute.

FEZZIWIG Ill give you exactly one minute. (Exits.)

PAST Why werent you at the party?

SCROOGE Well there was work to be done. Old Fezziwig was a wonderful master, but not a very good man of business.

PAST I see. You couldnt dance, could you.

SCROOGE No, I couldnt dance. (The fiddle finishes and we hear laughter and applause offstage. Belle enters, out of breath and laughing. Young Scrooge sees her. He is entranced. She does not see him. The fiddle begins a slightly slower song- a waltz.) Belle.

PAST Do you know this girl?

SCROOGE Belle. Id forgotten how beautiful she was.

YOUNG SCROOGE Hello.

BELLE Oh! You startled me.

YOUNG SCROOGE Im sorry, I didnt mean to

BELLE (Overlapping) No- It's quite alright. (She laughs) I didnt know anyone was in here.

YOUNG SCROOGE It's...it's only me.

BELLE (laughs) And who might you be?

YOUNG SCROOGE Im Mr. Fezziwigs apprentice.

BELLE Pleased to meet you Mr. Fezziwigs apprentice. My name is Belle. (She offers her hand, he shakes it vigorously.)

YOUNG SCROOGE Pleased to meet you, Belle

BELLE What are you doing alone in here? You should be with us dancing.

YOUNG SCROOGE Oh, Im afraid I dont know how to dance.

BELLE Dont know how to dance. Nonsense, Ill teach you. (Despite Young Scrooges protests she manages to teach him a simple step. They end up dangerously close to one another as the fiddle stops and they stay there.) You know, Mr. Fezziwigs apprentice, I dont believe thats your real name.

YOUNG SCROOGE (in a reverie) No.

BELLE (laughs) Shall I guess?

YOUNG SCROOGE (wakes up from his reverie) It's Ebenezer. Ebenezer Scrooge.

FEZZIWIG (Enters) Well, Ebenezer Scrooge, since you wont come to the party,

ALL THE FEZZIWIG GUESTS (entering) the party is coming to you!

FEZZIWIG Lets have more music. (Music- live if possible- plays and they sing the Gloucestershire Wassail.) Let Christmas hear our voices ringing out into the night.

(Sings) Wassail! wassail! all over the town

Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown

Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree

With the wassailing bowl , we'll drink unto thee

(During this verse Fezziwig will single out Belle and bring her center stage.)

Then here's to the maid in the lily white smock

Who tripped to the door and slipped back the lock

Who tripped to the door and pulled back the pin

(Fezziwig pushes Young Scrooge center to Belle)

For to let these jolly wassailers in

ALL

(Belle and Young Scrooge dance to the steps that Belle taught him earlier, capped by Fezziwig holding a sprig of mistletoe over Young Scrooge's head and Belle kissing him)

Wassail! wassail! all over the town

Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown

Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree

With the wassailing bowl , we'll drink unto thee

BELLE

This ancient old house we will kindly salute

It is an old custom you need not dispute.

A Happy New Year and a long time to live

Since you've been so free, and so willing to give

ALL

(They dance around Fezziwig)

Wassail! wassail! all over the town

Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown

Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree

With the wassailing bowl , we'll drink unto thee

FEZZIWIG

Young men and maidens I pray you draw near

Come fill up your bowl with some cider or beer

Come fill up your bowl, they're there on the shelf

If you want any more

ALL (to the audience) you can it sing yourself!

(The party sings and dances its way offstage)

Wassail! wassail! all over the town

Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown

Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree

With the wassailing bowl , we'll drink unto thee

SCROOGE Mr. Fezziwig was the finest master a lad could have.

PAST A small matter to make these silly folks so full of gratitude.

SCROOGE Small matter!

PAST Why! Is it not? He has spent very little of your mortal money.

SCROOGE It isn't that. It isn't that Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy. To make our service light or burdensome. A pleasure or a toil. The happiness he gives is quite as great as if it cost... as if it cost a fortune.

PAST What is the matter?

SCROOGE Nothing particular.

PAST Something, I think.

SCROOGE I should like to be able to say a word to Bob Cratchit just now. That's all.

****************************************************************************************************

Act II

Scenes 3-4

(Music- The carolers sing Coventry Carol or Star in the South. Lights dim to a spot on the narrator and the Cratchit scene is struck during the following.)

NARRATOR The Cratchits were not a wealthy family. They were not well dressed, their shoes were far from being water-proof, their clothes were scanty. And Peter might have known, and very likely did, the inside of a pawnbroker's. But they were happy, grateful, pleased with one another, and contented with the time. And as they faded from Scrooge's view, they looked happy in the waning light. And Scrooge kept his eye upon them, and especially on Tiny Tim until the last. (Lights change)

SCROOGE Tell me, Spirit, if Tiny Tim will live.

PRESENT I see a vacant seat in the poor chimney corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, the child will die.

SCROOGE No. Oh no, kind Spirit, say he will be spared.

PRESENT If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, none other of my race will find him here. What then? If he be like to die, he had better do it and decrease the surplus population. Oh, Man, if man you be at heart, forebear that wicked cant until you have discovered what the surplus is and where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of heaven, you are more worthless, and less fit to live, than millions like this poor man's child. (Lights change. The Carolers begin singing Bring a Torch Jeanette Isabella)

NARRATOR By this time it was getting dark, and snowing pretty heavily. Scrooge and the Spirit went along the streets. (Enter a lamplighter. He is cold and miserable. He lights a lamp on the far side of the stage from Scrooge and the spirit.)

SCROOGE Spirit, who is this man?

PRESENT Only a poor lamplighter. Watch. (Lamplighter crosses to Scrooge and the Spirit's side of the stage. He lights another lamp. Christmas Present blesses him. His mood changes and he starts singing along with the carolers as he exits.)

SCROOGE Spirit, why did you bless this man?

PRESENT I bless everyone on this day. The poor most of all.

SCROOGE Why the poor most of all.

PRESENT Because they need it most of all. Come.

NARRATOR Much they saw, and far they went, and many homes they visited, but always with a happy end. The Spirit stood beside sick beds, and they were cheerful. On foreign lands, and they were close at home. By struggling men, and they were patient in their greater hope. By poverty, and it was rich. In almshouse, hospital, and jail, in misery's every refuge the good Spirit left a blessing. (Singing has ended.) Here the flickering of the blaze showed preparations for a cozy dinner. And here again, were shadows on the window-blind of guests assembling.

(Music-instrumental- piano introduction to The Mistletoe Song Lights change and we hear laughter. The Fred party enters. They engage in a dumb-show conversation until Topper's first line.)

SCROOGE Why 'tis my nephew, Fred. Spirit, why have we come here.

PRESENT If you should happen, by any unlikely chance, to know a man more blessed in a laugh than your nephew, Fred, all I can say is, I should like to know him too. Introduce him to me, and I'll cultivate his acquaintance. (Music has faded out.)

TOPPER I don't believe it.

FRED He did! He said that Christmas was a humbug, as I live. He believed it too! (The guests laugh)

SCROOGE I knew it! I knew he would be talking about me.

A GUEST More shame for him, Fred.

FRED He's a comical old fellow, that's the truth, and not so pleasant as he might be.

SCROOGE I knew it!

FRED'S WIFE I am sure he's very rich, Fred. At least you always tell me so.

FRED What of that, my dear. His wealth is of no use to him. He doesn't do any good with it. We haven't the satisfaction of thinking that he is ever going to benefit us with it. (Guests laugh)

SCROOGE I knew he was after my money.

FRED However, his offenses carry their own punishment, and I have nothing to say against him.

SCROOGE I knew it! (realizes what Fred has said) What?

FRED I couldn't be angry with him if I tried. And I mean to give him the same chance every year, whether he likes it or not. He may rail at Christmas till he dies, but he can't help thinking better of it if he finds me going there, in good temper, year after year, and saying "Uncle Scrooge, how are you?" If it only puts him in the vein to leave his poor clerk fifty pounds, that's something.

FRED'S WIFE Well said, Fred. (The guests applaud. Scrooge crosses back to the ghost, dumbfounded). It's true, we are his only family and yet he takes it into his head to dislike us, and he won't come and dine with us. And what's the consequence? He misses some pleasant moments, and even better company- which could do him no harm.

A GUEST Here, here.

FRED And he misses the chance to meet my wife. Uncle Scrooge has lost much by not knowing you, my dear.

SCROOGE They do seem rather well matched.

TOPPER You're a lucky man, Fred. For I am but a wretched outcast (cries of shame and no from the guests and a conspicuous laugh from one of the ladies.) Yes, my friends, for I am but a lonely bachelor and so am doomed to wander through life on my own. All alone. By myself.

LAUGHING SISTER (giggles)

FRED Is there no woman in London who will accompany you on your journey?

LAUGHING SISTER (giggles)

FRED Well, as there are no volunteers here, we must cheer you up somehow.

MRS FRED Well then, enough of wicked uncles and outcasts. Lets have a song.

FRED Capital idea. What song?

ALL (everybody takes a song and shouts out overlapping each other. Sally in our Ally, Old Towler Wassail Shiverand Shakery The Mistletoe song.)

MRS FRED The Mistletoe song. (Music)

FRED Only if I can somehow convince Topper to sing for us.

LAUGHING SISTER Oh please, Mr. Topper, do sing for us.

TOPPER Well, if the ladies insist

(singing) A grand and jolly old custom you will find at Christmas time

In every house you go hangs a bunch of mistletoe

You find in hanging upon the wall and every charming miss

She's always hovering round it for a kiss.

At first you kiss the mater then the daughters three or four

And then you kiss the maiden aunt who's never been kissed before

ALL

(Scrooge and the Spirit sing with)

Under the mistletoe, under the mistletoe

Young maids, old maids, dearly love to go

Oh did you ever, ever hear a girl say no

When you whisper come and kiss me

Under the mistletoe

LAUGHING SISTER

Now there's the grumpy old batch'lor who's in diggings all alone

TOPPER (Spoken) Humbug!

LAUGHING SISTER (continuing singing)

The servant gives a grin as she brings the Turkey in

A feeling then overcomes him he has seldom felt before

He sees the mistletoe above the door.

He gives the girl a Christmas box then steals a kiss with glee.

It's only once a year of course, he likes it and so does she.

ALL

Under the mistletoe, under the mistletoe

Young maids, old maids, dearly love to go

Oh did you ever, ever hear a girl say no

When you whisper come and kiss me

Under the mistletoe

TOPPER

A sweet kiss under the mistletoe will always be the thing

It gives the modest miss excuses for a kiss

You kiss her under the parlor stairs her dignity she'll show

She likes it underneath the mistletoe.

(spoken) A bunch of mistletoe's the thing to give you perfect bliss.

I always carry some myself (produces mistletoe)

Would anyone like a kiss!

ALL

Under the mistletoe, under the mistletoe

Young maids, old maids, dearly love to go

Oh did you ever, ever hear a girl say no

When you whisper come and kiss me

Under the mistletoe

When you whisper come and kiss me

Under the mistletoe.

FRED'S WIFE Let's have a game.

FRED Very well, what game?

ALL (everybody takes a game and shouts out overlapping each other. Blind-man's Buff! Forfeits! Hunt the Ring! Consequences! How, when and where. Yes and No!)

FRED Let's play Yes and No. I will think of something and you must guess what it is by asking me questions that I can answer with yes or no. (A barrage of questions from the other guests.) Wait. Let me think of something. All right, I've got it.

SCROOGE Is it money?

LAUGHING SISITER Is it animal or...or...or vegetable?

FRED Yes and no.

LAUGHING SISITER Ohhhh! Is it an animal?

FRED Yes.

TOPPER Is it a dog?

FRED No.

FRED'S WIFE Is it a friendly animal?

FRED Well not really. No, not at all.

A GUEST Is it a savage beast?

FRED Oh, yes.

A GUEST Does it growl and grunt?

FRED Sometimes.

FRED'S WIFE Fred, you must answer yes or no.

FRED It is the only answer I can give.

SCROOGE Is it a lion?

TOPPER Is it a lion?

FRED No

TOPPER A tiger?

FRED No

TOPPER A bear?

LAUGHING SISITER Oh my!

FRED No

FRED'S WIFE Fred! Does it live in Africa?

SCROOGE Good question.

FRED No

FRED'S WIFE In England?

SCROOGE Intelligent girl!

FRED Yes

LAUGHING SISITER Fred, does it live in the country or...or...or in London?

ALL Yes and no!

LAUGHING SISITER Oh, right. Does it live in London?

FRED Yes

SCROOGE A beast in a zoo!

FRED'S WIFE Does it live in a zoo?

SCROOGE Yes

FRED No

SCROOGE Oh.

FRED'S WIFE All right, we have a savage beast that growls and grunts-sometimes- and walks freely about the streets of London.

SCROOGE The Tax Collector!

FRED'S WIFE I know, I think I know.

FRED Well.

FRED'S WIFE It's your Uncle Scrooge!

SCROOGE No.

FRED Yes. (They all laugh. Scrooge is, of course, nonplused.)

TOPPER Fred, I protest.

FRED Yes, Topper

TOPPER I protest.

SCROOGE I should think so!

TOPPER When I asked you if it was a bear you ought to have answered, yes. (They all laugh again, and this time, Scrooge sees the justice of the joke, and is able to laugh with them.)

FRED Ah me he's given us enough merriment tonight! We'd be ungrateful not to drink to his health. Come, everyone, please take a glass of wine.

SCROOGE No, nephew, you needn't bother on my account...

FRED So. To Uncle Scrooge.

ALL Uncle Scrooge.

FRED A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year wherever you may be.

SCROOGE Thank you nephew, may you have the same.

TOPPER Now might we play blind mans buff?

LAUGHING SISTER Oh yes.

FRED Very well, who would like to start.

SCROOGE Me, Fred!

TOPPER Fred! Me please! Fred!

FRED Very well, Topper- you start us. (he puts blindfold on Topper) Hide, everyone, hide. (The party guests hide backstage. Scrooge hides in the audience.) Can you see anything?

TOPPER No!

FRED I dont believe you. How many fingers am I holding up?

TOPPER Eleven!

FRED Right! One, Two, Three. Go! (He turns Topper 3 times and exits. Topper stumbles and the laughing sister giggles backstage. Topper lifts up the blindfold and exits in the direction of the laughter, all the while laughing himself.)

SCROOGE He's cheating!

TOPPER (Offstage) A-ha

LAUGHING SISTER (offstage) Ohhh!!! Topper!

SCROOGE He's a cheating, cheater!

PRESENT Come. (Sound- wind- which will run throughout until Scrooge wakes up. Lights dim)

*************************************************************************************************

Act II

Scene 8

SCROOGE My own room. My own bed. And the time! The time is my own- to make amends in! I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future! The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh Jacob- Jacob Marley! Heaven, and the Christmas Time be praised to thee for this! I say it on my knees, old Jacob; on my knees. The shadows of the things that would have been, may be dispelled. They will be. I know they will! I don't know what to do! I think...I think I am going to laugh. (he does)

NARRATOR Really for a man who had been out of practice for so many years he had a splendid laugh, (Scrooge looks at narrator and laughs louder) a most illustrious laugh. (Scrooge hugs the narrator and laughs ever louder) The father of a long line of brilliant laughs.

SCROOGE (Narrator helps Scrooge puts on his street clothes during the following half page) I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a school boy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. I really am quite a baby. Well, never mind. I dont care. Id rather be a baby. Its all right! Its all true! It all really happened! I don't know what to do. I don't know how long I have been among the spirits! I don't even know what day of the month it is!

NARRATOR It's Christmas Day.

SCROOGE It's Christmas Day!

NARRATOR Its Christmas Day.

SCROOGE I haven't missed it!

NARRATOR No.

SCROOGE The Spirits have done it all in one night.

NARRATOR Yes, they're spirits, they can do anything they like

SCROOGE Of course they can. Of course they can. (hugs narrator) Merry Christmas!

NARRATOR Merry Christmas.

SCROOGE (to an audience member) Merry Christmas. (to another) Merry Christmas. (to another) Merry Christmas. I am going to wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas...This will take forever, you know. I have an idea! Lets all wish each other a Merry Christmas. I will count to three and we will all shout Merry Christmas at the same time. Right, and if you do not participate, you will be haunted by three ghosts tonight. Are we ready! (this will usually produce a lackluster response from the audience.) Oh that's not good enough. I want them to hear us in China. Now- ARE WE READY (the audience screams yes) That's better. Merry Christmas on the count of three. One. Two. Three! (The audience screams Merry Christmas) Well, there's no need to shout at me, you know. Give yourselves a hand (Scrooge starts the audience clapping. Sound- bells ringing. Carolers enter from back of the house singing))

SCROOGE A-ha! You!! (Carolers scream and hide behind audience members- or on laps of audience members) You were singing in my office yesterday.

A CAROLER It wasn't us, (points to group in audience) it was them.

SCROOGE It was you. I neglected to pay you yesterday for your fine singing. (he pays them) Here you are. Tell me. Do you know the Poulterers in the next street?

A CAROLER I should hope we did.

SCROOGE Do you know whether they've sold the prize Turkey?

A CAROLER It's hanging there now.

SCROOGE Go and buy it.

A CAROLER Go on.

SCROOGE No, no, I am in earnest. (giving money) Go and buy it. Come back with the bird, and I'll give you each a shilling. Come back with it in less than five minutes, and I'll give you each a half-a-crown!

THE CAROLERS Right!

SCROOGE I'll send it to Bob Cratchit's! He shan't know who sends it. It's twice the size of Tiny Tim. (The Charitable Gentleman and Lady enter) Hello! Merry Christmas.

CHARITABLE LADY AND GENTLEMAN (not in a friendly tone) Mr. Scrooge. (They split and walk around Scrooge)

SCROOGE (he chases them to center- music level fades a bit more and continues to vamp) Yes, that is my name, and I fear it is not pleasant to you. Allow me to ask your pardon. Thank you for your visit yesterday. I have come to see that you were in the right. Those of us with the means must help the less fortunate. Will you have the goodness to put me down for...(whispers in Lady's ear.)

LADY My dear sir, I don't know what to say to such generosity.

SCROOGE Don't say anything, please. A great many back-payments are included in it, I assure you. Will you come and see me?

GENTLEMAN I will!

LADY We will!

GENTLEMAN We will!

SCROOGE Thank you.

GENTLEMAN AND LADY Merry Christmas.

SCROOGE Merry Christmas.

CAROLERS (entering and crossing to Scrooge with a ridiculously large turkey) Here's your Turkey! (Gentleman and Lady Exit.)

SCROOGE What a marvelous bird! Take it to Bob Cratchit's. Ill give you the directions. Not a word on who sends it. Tell them it is from a friend. Now, we must find that bird a cab. (They exit)

NARRATOR Scrooge walked about the streets and patted children on the head and questioned beggars and found that everything could yield him pleasure. He never dreamed that any walk- that anything- could give him so much happiness. (Fred and his wife have entered on one side of the stage, Scrooge has entered on the other)

SCROOGE Fred! (he runs to him and hugs him)

FRED Uncle Scrooge?

FRED'S WIFE (it's unbelievable- to Fred) Uncle Scrooge???

FRED (affirming) Uncle Scrooge.

SCROOGE (breaks away) Fred, this must be your charming wife. A lovely girl, Fred. A charming girl. (to Fred's wife) He should be ashamed of himself for not introducing us sooner, don't you think? (Fred and his wife are speechless) Fred, I hope your invitation to dinner this afternoon is still extended.

FRED (still fairly stunned) Umm. Yes. (to his wife- a question) Yes?

FRED'S WIFE Yes. Indeed, you will be most welcome.

SCROOGE Thank you, my dear.

FRED'S WIFE Five o'clock.

SCROOGE Until then, Merry Christmas.

FRED (hugs him) Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge. (Fred and his wife exit)

SCROOGE (to the Narrator) Im going to have Christmas Dinner with my family.

NARRATOR Do you know where he lives?

SCROOGE (exiting after Fred) Fred! Where do you live?

NARRATOR It was a wonderful party, with wonderful games, and wonderful happiness. Oh, but he was early at the office the next morning.

SCROOGE Yes I'm very early.

NARRATOR If he could only be there first, and catch Bob Cratchit coming late! That was the thing he had his heart set upon.

SCROOGE My heart's set on it.

NARRATOR And he did it

SCROOGE He did?

NARRATOR Yes he did!

SCROOGE Oh good!

NARRATOR Bob was late.

SCROOGE He was?

NARRATOR He is

SCROOGE Oh good.

NARRATOR The clock struck nine. No Bob.

SCROOGE No Bob!

NARRATOR A quarter past. No Bob.

SCROOGE No Bob!

NARRATOR Bob Cratchit was a full eighteen minutes and a half, behind his time. (Cratchit enters at a dead run)

SCROOGE Cratchit! You are a full eighteen minutes and a half behind your time!

CRATCHIT I am very sorry, sir. I am behind my time.

SCROOGE Yes, I think you are.

CRATCHIT It's only once a year, sir. It shall not be repeated. I was making rather merry yesterday, sir.

SCROOGE Now, I'll tell you what my friend. I am not going to stand this sort of thing any longer. And therefore, and therefore I am about to... double your salary! A merry Christmas, Bob! A merrier Christmas Bob, my good fellow than I have given you, for many a year! I will double your salary, and endeavor to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Bob! Make up the fires and buy another coal scuttle before you dot another i, Bob Cratchit!

CRATCHIT Yes Sir! (Runs off.)

NARRATOR Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all and infinitely more. (Bob and Tim enter. Tim runs into Scrooge's arms) And to Tiny Tim who did not die, he was a second father.

(The rest of the narration lines should be divided up between various cast members as they enter either singularly or in small groups so that everyone is on stage at the end.)

NARRATOR He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew.

NARRATOR Or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world.

NARRATOR Some people laughed to see the alteration in him.

NARRATOR but he let them laugh, and little heeded them.

NARRATOR For he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe- for good- at which some people did not have their fill of laughter.

NARRATOR His own heart laughed and that was quite enough for him.

NARRATOR He had no further dealings with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards

NARRATOR And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.

SCROOGE May that be truly said of us, and all of us. And so, as Tiny Tim observed:

TINY TIM God bless Us, Every One!

All Merry Christmas.